Insulting Humour and Quick putdowns

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Insulting Humour and Quick putdowns

 

Insulting Humour

 

I never forget a face
But in your case I'll make an exception

Don't look out of the window
People will think that it's Halloween

You've a face like a million dollars
All green and wrinkled

I've kept my youthful complexion
Yes, so I see, all spotty

Haven't I seen you on TV
Well yes I do appear off and on, how do you like me ?
Off

Do you think that I'll lose my looks when I get older
With luck, yes

My husband always carries my photo in his pocket. It once saved his live when a mugger tried to stab him.
Of course, your face would stop anything

I've just come back from the beauty parlor
What a pity it was closed


 

Quick putdowns

 

How many people work in your office?
About half of them

Will this train take me to London
Which part?
Well all of me of course!

Do you like me?
Well as girls go, you're fine, and the sooner you go the better

Every time I walk past a girl she sighs
Yes, with relief

My boyfriend whispers that he loves me
Well it's not the sort of thing that he'd admit out aloud now would he ?

Whenever I go to the store, they shake my hand
I expect it's to make sure you don't put it in his till

Is that a new perfume I smell
It is, and you do

You'll just have to give me credit
Well I certainly won't be giving you cash

Why have you given me this long piece of rope
Well they say that if you give someone enough rope they'll hang themselves !

My brother wants to work badly
Yes, as I recall, he usually does.


I. How to be Insulting Abroad

  

III.  Political Insults & Putdowns

   1. Quotes and Insulting Quotations from Sir Winston Churchill

   2. Quotes and Insulting Quotations from Margaret Thatcher

 

IV. Insults and Putdowns for everyday use, а также по поводу Body, Boobs, Bored, Bums, Cold, Confused, Tobacco


Сopyright©Ястребов В.И.  avdeevkavlad@rambler.ru 23.01.11г.

 


 

 

 

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